1) The Ignorant man is full of superficial ideas about life, constantly having the impression that he knows a great deal about almost anything. He runs from one woman to another and from one relationship to another, only looking for easy and selfish pleasures.
The Initiate man has high ideals to which he dedicates most of his thoughts and aspirations. He engages profoundly and consciously in spiritual relationships, aiming to make his lover happy.
2) Once he finds a woman he likes, the Ignorant man uses her for satisfying his own pleasures, aiming to satisfy any of her small desires, in order to make her depend on him.
The Tantric initiate man maintains his verticality on his path to perfection, aiming at the same time to make his lover truly happy. He helps her build her own way towards happiness.
3) Due to his selfishness and superficiality, the Ignorant man tends to run away from the woman in his life when the relationship becomes too serious.
The Initiate man maintains the state of transfiguration and continues to deepen the relationship, making it a truly serious relationship.
4) The Ignorant man who does not know about sexual continence “buys” his sexual satisfactions by making compromises with his lover. The Initiate man who practices sexual continence and who knows the secrets of transmutation and sublimation is able to erotically fulfil his lover, without becoming addicted to sensual pleasure.
5) The Ignorant man aims to make the woman depend on his presence and he forcefully imposes on her certain ideas or even limits that he has. The Initiate man aims to perfect himself and allows his lover to choose her path, confident in love and the victory of authentic values over superficial temptations.
6) The Ignorant man who does not know or does not apply sexual continence constantly remains at the same level regarding the art of lovemaking. He has sex in a superficial way, dominated by primal instincts and aiming for quick satisfaction. He encourages inferior tendencies within the woman and has no concern for her erotic fulfilment. Day by day, the Initiated tantric man comes closer to perfection in the art of lovemaking with continence and has no other purpose for lovemaking than to merge with his lover at the highest levels and to reach the state of happiness and perfect androgyny together. He is firm in applying sexual continence and he encourages his lover in this direction.
7) Out of the desire to prove himself able, the Ignorant man chases women, but he never gets too close to his lover, at the soul level he keeps a “comfortable” distance from her, most of the time staying alone and seeing in this attitude a proof of manhood. The Initiate tantric man knows the absolute importance of love and the importance of sacrifice in love, therefore he does not waste any moment without opening towards his lover and giving love. In all women he sees the cosmic lover – Parashakti – which he adores in eternity.
8) The Ignorant man is delighted by bad girls, who satisfy the primal instincts he manifests especially in sexual interaction. Due to his ignorance and to his down going tendency, he despises so called good girls. For him qualities such as purity, modesty, intelligence, refined sensuality, profound affection, spontaneity, spiritual openness are seen as handicaps.
The Tantric initiate man adores women and transfigures them. In this way, he can see the specific divine qualities in any woman. He appreciates “good girls” and encourages them through his transfiguration to bring into light and to fully manifest all their latent qualities, which they are often unaware of.
9) The Ignorant man reaches orgasm with ejaculation very fast, leaving the woman frustrated and tormented. Therefore, for him lovemaking is an effort which in time tires him. This is why he will gradually aim to replace it with watching TV, making comments about the football matches, drinking alcohol and so on. The Initiate man effortlessly engages in erotic fusions, which due to sexual continence become as many occasions to make his lover happy and in this way to reach states of cosmic consciousness together.
10) Due to his superficiality and his ignorance about sexual continence, the Ignorant man has a subconscious fear that he cannot fulfil women erotically. This is why he aims to impose on her the image of a tough man or a macho man, which includes many sexual limitations, meant to make her have less desires. The Tantric initiate man maintains his self control, due to his effortless control over the sexual energy. This is why his attitude is natural and without any prejudices, he then encourages his lover to develop her creativity in lovemaking games.
11) Lacking self confidence, the Ignorant man aims to keep the woman he likes addicted to him, satisfying her moods and requests and not daring to tell her when she makes mistakes. The Tantric initiate man sets his lover free, knowing that the effect of strong polarization is stronger then any dependency.
12) Because he completely lacks life experience and being almost always caught up in his states and experiences only at the surface level, the Ignorant man is only present in the couple relationship when it is pleasant, and he runs away when the woman has to pass certain tests, considering that it is her business. The initiate man knows the value of self sacrifice, which comes from love, and he stands by his lover when she has certain problems, offering her his strong support.
13) Ignorant man takes by himself whatever he wants from the relationship, without considering whether what he wants is also what the woman wants. He believes that what matters is that he is happy and content. The Tantric initiate man follows the tantric principle: “The greatest happiness of the tantric man is to make his lover completely happy.” Therefore, he engages in a couple relationship with the belief that to give is more important than what he would take by himself.
14) When he suffers due to certain mistakes in the couple relationship, the Ignorant man completely blames the woman and he is satisfied with himself, saying that he did everything he could do. The Initiate man aims to become perfect in any situation and he does not avoid the responsibilities he has within the couple relationship.
15) When he falls in love, the Ignorant man does not see anything else and he behaves as if blinded by his desires. Thus, he easily becomes the victim of his own illusions. The initiate man falls in love with his heart, for him the state of falling in love is an extraordinary way of accessing higher levels of manifestation, he is constantly attentive to the divine game of synchronicities.
Hearing these things, the Ignorant man will feel indifferent, considering that it is not about him. Only in certain cases will the Ignorant man put himself together and make a system of transformation. In other cases, the Ignorant man will superficially laugh at these revelations, avoiding any analysis in depth, or he will violently reject any of the statements above.
The Initiate man will listen carefully, in silence, to all these statements and he will lucidly analyse his inner state, identifying the areas he still needs to work on. At the same time, he already makes a plan for future transformations, including his lover in this process of clarification and self-analysis.
Taken from “The spiritual couple relationship”, conference kept by Mihai and Adina Stoian in 2006, at the annual Spiritual camp in Costinesti – Romania.
Mihai (Advaitananda) co-wrote (together with Grieg) the Tantra course offered by Tara Yoga centre as well as the different Yoga schools of Atman.